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I always like to remind my clients: you are NOT broken; only the lens through which you're examining yourself needs restoration. I always sort of imagine that it's like being trapped in one of those House of Mirrors you see at carnivals, which creat
It takes energy to create anything, especially a relationship. If you’re spending a lot of time thinking about what you don’t want or what’s wrong in your life, that's what you’re investing precious energy into, rather than w
The first quote was an actual meme I saw on an account about spiritual healing, which was a very curious & interesting thing that caught my attention. I felt compelled to "translate" what I saw in those words, to reveal the honesty of
Codependendency isn't something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. It's not an identity or a box to put ourselves in. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you or that you're broken. In fact, codependency is so extremely common that it can sometimes
Emotional triggers are links to the past. We might THINK we're simply reacting to a situation in the present moment, but what's really happening is that our subconscious mind is recognizing the unfolding of a similar experience from our past where w
This is often the very source of our own childhood wounding. It's where we first developed the idea that we aren't good enough or acceptable as we are, or that we're unworthy of love or our desires. It's also at the heart of codependency, which is w
Yet another insightful quote from @elizabeth_gilbert_writer 🙌🏼 . You hear me say it all the time: Our partners are reflections of us. Whenever you get triggered by your partner, consider it a sign of an unresolved internal conflict that's asking f
Most of these things can be avoided altogether if you & your partner both commit yourselves to practicing open-hearted listening. Open-hearted listening is when you LISTEN & FULLY receive what your partner has to say without interjecting def
A love letter to the person out there struggling to get through a difficult breakup: I see you, I hear you, I feel you. In many ways I WAS you at various points in my life. I want you to know that you are worthy. You are lovable. You are whole. Bu
When I first became aware of my avoidance, it was nearly a year after a breakup from a 3-year relationship, and I was still feeling emotional about it at times. It seemed like I couldn't stop replaying in my mind the story around what went wrong in
I used to lack healthy emotional boundaries in relationships because my deeper intention for being in one was to merge & fuse with my partner. That's what I thought relationships were supposed to be. But that's not the purpose of relationship.
Words are POWERFUL. They move us. They can hurt or heal, create or destroy, uplift or suppress, empower or undermine power. Even the Bible says God created the world by speaking it into existence, metaphorically suggesting a recognition of an integr
So many of us are quick to label our partner's (or ex's) behavior as "toxic" and blame them for our suffering or unhappiness. But how many of us have ever stopped to ask ourselves "what is (or was) MY toxic behavior?" . We ALL ha
The time I really had my heart shattered, I told myself that if I just did my best to move on, I’d get over it with time. My version of that was: burying myself in work, a couple Tinder dates a week, drinks with friends, “beer-league&rdq
I invite you to stop reinforcing the idea that relationship/marriage is HARD WORK that's DIFFICULT and requires SACRIFICE. Your words are important in constructing your reality and the meaning you assign as you interpret your experiences. Since be
Relationship = "the state of being connected", implying two separate parts which become joined together. And even as they're connected, they're STILL individual parts. It's just now there's a bridge between them which opens up communicatio
Codependency is rooted fear of abandonment & feelings of unworthiness. One of the many hallmark traits of codependency is people-pleasing, something with which I'm familiar. People-pleasing is a coping mechanism, a survival instinct for some. T
When you begin a relationship, it's not just someone entering YOUR narrative; you're now co-authoring a story together. The relationship becomes a shared stage where you're playing out your respective roles, and a new narrative unfolds. You're both
You want to know what the biggest middle finger to abuse is? It's healing your heart and soul from your past trauma and reclaiming your sovereignty over your body. And simultaneously, it's also the greatest act of self-love. As a coach, I speciali
On one hand we require emotional connection & intimacy with parents/caretakers to know that we're cared for and safe, that our needs will be met. But we also have a natural desire to explore our individuality & independence as children, whic